Mommy’s Home

 

    

Did you miss me Fatties? Because I missed you! Before we get down to business, Let’s get reacquainted. 

    First I would like to say that I started this blog when I was in high school when I was deown baddddd. This blog was seriously helpful in making light of a time when it felt like the sky was falling (shocker, it wasn’t). I haven’t touched this blog in two years for a combination of reasons. 1) I moved to Toronto for university and things have been busy. I love my school and the city, and I have wonderful friends. 2) things have gotten progressively worse politically/socially and with that, so has my sense of humor. When I was in high school I was an ego maniac, as all 14-17 year olds rightfully should be. I reflect fondly on the time in my life that I thought was so terrible and realize now that I should have been more grateful for the time spent catastrophizing over all of the PEN15-level embarrassing things that happened to me. Those really were the days. The combination of being extremely cringe, combined with my lack of knowledge on how to structure a piece of writing made for some amazing streams of conscious thought that I graciously made available to the public through the link in my bio.

    In the last two years, I have tried to make my comeback to blogging many times, but to no avail. Making a joke felt like trying to poop during the week before your period; you know you have it in you somewhere, but it just doesn’t want to come out. It’s discouraging to want something so bad and not be able to accomplish it (this applies to both pooping and wanting to be funny again). The thing is, the moment you find yourself trying to be funny, you’ve already lost. So I backed off. I assumed that this was a side effect of my frontal lobe finally doing her big one. It was sad, but over time I accepted the fact that my funny was gone and resigned myself to a life of saying “that’s so funny 😐” instead of actually laughing when told a joke. 

    Two years later, my sense of humor seems to be making a resurgence, albeit a slow one so please bear with me. I realize now that being funny is like getting a printer to work. You have to act like you don’t care to the point that you even believe yourself. The printer only works when it thinks you don’t want the document printed anymore. The printer can’t know that you want it to be your boyfriend. The printer has to think that you have other printers. You can’t double text the printer. Don’t even look at the printer for too long. Only then will the printer work. The same is true for being funny I think. I finally gave up and just when I did that, little jokes began bubbling up again. 

     Secondly, I typically hesitate to share any political thoughts online, not because I fear repercussion or judgement from others, but because there is soooooooo much media being put out about the state of American politics right now that I don’t know that what I have to say would be of any real value or resonate with anyone during a time when we are positively inundated with media on the subject. Moreover, there are far better resources than myself to explain to the American public what in the living fuck is happening at the moment. Try as I might, I don’t always know either. That said, I can conservatively estimate that 94% of my mental space goes toward researching/reading/having a mental freakdown about everything that comes out of the White House, so that will likely be reflected in my writing. 

    With these two things in mind, I think that there is a way to resurrect my sense of humor while acknowledging that things are not as simple as they were two years ago. Unfortunately for you, my personal life is going eerily well these days, so I don’t have much to report on about myself for now (stay tuned). But what I can do is provide insight and commentary that only a young woman can on this time in American history which I have dubbed The Unlightenment. The sky feels like it is falling once again, so I am doing what I do moderately well and has always comforted me, which is writing. My goal is not to spiral or to dwell on all of the badness and sadness, but to find the pockets of funny within all of the bad and sad. I hope I can make someone laugh, or at least exhale sharply through their nostrils while reading.

        Xoxoxo

                    Psychotic Perfect